Friday, April 1, 2011

my baby album 40+ years later

my mom surprised me on my birthday big time!
she made my 'baby album'....40+ years later...
i know my mom doesn't like talking about her age, but i have to say
she is 82 years 'young!' 

she does not like to scrapbook.
but as frustrating as this was to accomplish i know she can feel proud of the finished product.
when i received it, i could easily have been reduced to a puddle of tears,
so i put up my little self-protective wall (ok, my 40-foot fortress) and
graciously accepted this priceless gift without blubbering like an idiot or going into the ugly cry.
all which would have been fine, it's my mom, afterall.
 but i dont' know...i just didn't want to 'go there.'

we have gone through so much and she has faithfully been my cheerleader through it all.
always encouraging, supportive and ready with a hug.
that's my mom.

i gave up on having a baby book years ago and i took my box of photos
so i have no idea where she came up with all of these photos. she told me 'it wasn't easy!'

what i especially loved were all the little notes and treasures she slipped in there. like this one:

"Dear Mom, Thank you for saving my life this morning. Love, Donna"

I would love to know the story behind that one!! But when you get the album 40+ years later there story is forgotten.  (It's ok, mom, I'm sure it wasn't quite as dramatic as it sounds! maybe you killed a spider?)

I was pretty sweet and innocent as a child but was exposed to a ton of stuff that was not age-appropriate....well, I should say, not really appropriate for any age.  Nobody's fault, just the product of a broken home in the 60's-70's.  So it makes me sad to think of 'what could have been' and makes me lament the turn in my heart towards anything that would numb the pain.

So...rather than go down the "what if" trail, I focus and look around and say
for where I am today!!!
Healed and whole!! My wounds don't gape open as quickly as they used to. Instead of bandaids that kept getting ripped off, it is more like scars - they are healed but they are there.

Here are things I wanted my mom to 'remeber':
1. Smile
2. Be Patient
3. Be Understanding
4. Pray
5. Remember me!

My children would probably write that same list.
Wouldn't we all?

My mom worked for Pepperdine University and she had access to the holy grail of Office Supplies.  Here is a memorandum I sent to her in 1977:

I would please like some forms to fill out.
If you have any me and Lisa W. would appreciate it.
If you do, please give some to me and Lisa W. to play office.
(signed very officially by me)

What happened to that little girl who likes to fill out forms?
You would think as a mommy of 4 that I would be in heaven with all the forms I have to fill out!
This was a good reminder that what I'm doing now is what I 'played' when I was a kid.

My 'baby album' - 40+ years later.
it touched my heart and i think another little wound just healed.